January is approaching to the end (one more week to go). I am not going to pop the tough question on New Year resolution. I suggest adjust it if you found it a bit tough to keep up instead of giving it up completely.

Don’t be dismayed. Adjust and make it achievable with a stretch.

 

This Monday due to my hectic schedule and a small element of absent-mindedness, I double- booked myself.  I ended up forfeiting a ticket to a play(theatre) for 17 pounds (non-refundable and I did not have time to pass it onto someone else).  It was not a huge sum but I was not happy about it and kept thinking about it. 

It suddenly dawned on me that if I dwelt on it, I will lose MORE than the face value of the ticket of 17 pounds as time is money.  I finally managed to convince myself to “bite the bullet” and move on.  “Don’t cry over split milk” has some truth in it.

On the subject of better communication, heavy weight in the coaching world Sir John Whitmore suggests in his book Coaching for Performance (p.47) that the WHY question should be discouraged as it may imply criticism and evokes defensiveness. He recommends replacing it with “What were the reasons..?”

Today I had a coffee with my friend Thomas who is the owner of an optical store in France. I spotted a lovely pair of glasses on the table and it actually belongs to him (no surprise there as I usually carry a copy of my book with me for a similar reason:>). He was very kind to ask me to try it on and took some pictures for me. And here is one of them.

For a split second, I was pondering on having a new look for 2015. Well, I will have to wait for Thomas’ next visit to London to seek his advice.

Yesterday morning I went to my weekly Pilates class and spotted a classmate who did not come to the class for a long time. I caught up with him after class and mentioned to him about my book.

He said he needed to leave the gym soon and I urged him to wait for me at the locker room upstairs (there are 2 in this particular gym and I happened to “settle” down at the one downstairs). I then ran as fast as I could and returned with the promotional postcard of my book in my hand. He was already stripped down to only towel on his waist and ready to take a shower. I quickly handed over to him my postcard firmly yet politely and made sure that he reopened his locker and put it in before I waved goodbye saying “See you next week.” He replied, “I am not sure if I will come back (to the class).”

A few suggestons to politely remind someone who has forgotten to do something for you without coming across as a pain in the neck.
1) “As a gentle reminder, ..” or “As a kind reminder, ..”
2) “As a quick follow-up, …”
3) “As a positive confirmation, …”

In order to transform negative energy into a positive one, we must practise speaking in a positive tone. To start, we can avoid using the word NOT.
For example:-
1) Replace “It is not my job” with “My job is actually…”
2) Replace “It is not my problem” with “Perhaps someone else can help you on that.”
3) Replace “Don’t speak to me” with “I need a quiet moment to myself”.
4) Replace “It is not too bad” with “Good”.

A few people told me that they felt that January was the toughest month of the year.

There are numerous reasons why one would think that way, but let us focus on some simple ways to counter that.
1) Light at the end of the tunnel: Based on the time line, we are actually at the midpoint of January today. By tomorrow it will be more than half way through the month!
2) Forget about December or “dilute” the December effect: Drop the “baggage” of over-spending and/or over-eating in Dec (sorry that I might have just reminded you of that). Treat January as a regular month and try to mitigate the effect “coming down from high” which makes things feel more difficult than they should be.
3) Catch up with friends and family that you might not have time to see during the busy December.
4) The year 2015 is still fresh, so let us look forward to all the possibilities ahead of us :>

Earlier this week, I went to see my physiotherapist due to the pain from my right arm. While she was twisting my arm to loosen the muscle, she asked me what the cause was.  I replied it was because I was carrying too many books to Canada during Christmas and “naturally” told her a little bit about my book. I was this close to selling one copy of my book because the sharp pain of arm took over the discussion. Such a pain! Sadly the pain was real :>

One hard lesson that I learned in the recent years as part of maturing process is to accept that “I HAD the moment and move on”.   In other words, accept your moment of doing certain things has passed and moved onto the next stage of life. Lingering on will only cause disappointment and frustration.   There are different things to experience in the next phase of life that can be equally interesting and exciting if not more. It is part of life’s nature. We should embrace and go with it.
For example, the things that I considered I HAD the moment and moved on.
1) I don’t eat as much as I want to anymore. My metabolism has slowed down and I need to moderate my diet if I want to keep my weight (and waist for that matter).
2) I don’t burn the midnight oil anymore. My general energy level has gradually dropped. It will affect my general health adversely more than before if I do so.
3) I don’t sunbath at the beach anymore. Enough sun damage done already :<