I have been going to physiotherapy for 3 months (Yes, I am getting better now. Thank you for asking). My physiotherapist and I have established and agreed that there are 2 types of pain. One type is a sharp pain that is hurting you badly (in which case you scream). The other type is working/stretching your muscles that somehow (not sure how) it is loosening up your muscles and it is good for you. As a non-medical professional, I am not sure how to explain it technically. But one key difference to me personally is the working pain is the one that trains your muscles within your tolerance (before screaming) and will eventually heal you.

No pain no gain!

An old friend of mine in New York face-booked me last week and told me that he felt like he was “floating” in life. He asked me what I would suggest him to do.
It is a broad topic and I am not claiming to be an expert to deal with mid-life crisis and the like. However, here are my two cents and initial thoughts:
1) Find out what triggered the “floating” and when it first started.
2) Determine if you want to anchor yourself or float a bit more
3) If you want to anchor yourself, reflect on your anchor points in life such as religion, family, friends, work, interests,..
4) If you want to “float” a bit more to figure out what you want from life, you should search for your motivation and interests in life. Think of what gets you excited in life. What would you do if you had total freedom and unlimited resources? I would also explore different areas of interests and/or brainstorm with friends.

Today I had dinner with my honorable executive assistant/friend Gary to celebrate his new job. Yes, congratulations and well done!!!
In passing, he said he prefers the moderated and calmer version of me. Well, I took it as a compliment because at least he noticed that there is a toned-down version of me that I can adjust to if needed. Funny enough, last week a colleague told me that he was very surprised that I did not create a big scene when he did not make good his promise and I let him go.

In case people have not noticed, actually I am developing my ability to moderate my eccentricity so I can be more effective in “wearing different hats”.

On the back of yesterday’s blog, let us take a look at what Deep Listening is. Based on the book The Coaching Manual written by Julie Starr (p80-81), Deep Listening is the ability to listen to and understand another person from insights into what they have said, or even understand what they have NOT said.
The characteristics are:
1) The mind of the listener is mostly quiet and calm.
2) The awareness of the listener is entirely focused on the other person.
3) The listener has little or no sense or awareness of themselves
4) The listener is totally lucid and present to the person speaking
5) This state can easily be broken or disturbed, e.g. by the speaker asking the listener a question, or seeking acknowledgement of some sort.

I have to admit that listening is not one of my strengths. Well, awareness is a good start. I would like to share certain characteristics of Active Listening based on the book The Coaching Manual written by Julie Starr which I found useful (p78-79)
1) The listener is using more effort to listen and process information than speaking themselves.
2) The listener has the intention of staying focused on what the other party is saying, in order to understand fully what they are saying.
3) The listener is mentally registering and recording facts so they can potentially use them later.
4) The listener continually confirms that they are still listening, by making appropriate sounds, gestures or expressions.
5) The listener will actively seek to understand what the person is telling them, by using clarifying questions, repeating or summarizing information back to the speaker and offering observations or conclusions.

Tomorrow we will define what DEEP listening is.

I got my Valentine’s “gift pack” today which contains 50 copies of my book that I had ordered over the weekend (a gift from myself to myself :>). It only took lulu.com one business day to print. I am impressed by the efficiency.

I guess I will have to put on the “salesman hat” again to restart my book promotion. No longer out-of-stock.

 

I gave an ex-colleague of mine my very last copy of my book last weekend. The last time I met her was at her wedding in Barcelona 8 years ago. Now she is a mother of 2 beautiful kids and living in Brazil. She has also launched an international cosmetic product company recently. Not sure when I would see her again, I reached out in my backpack (holding back my tears –for the book, not for her) and autographed the last copy of my book as a gift to her. Strangely enough, I felt a moment of “nakedness” (we should not get into a lengthy discussion of other those moments) as I always carry a copy of my book with me.

Fortunately, I ordered another batch of 50 copies over the weekend and hopefully they will arrive this week.

My lovely nieces and nephews call me Big Uncle not because of my size (I am far from big if not counting my ego :>) but because I am the oldest of the 3 boys in my family.   I am a frequent (“loyal” is a big word and I don’t want to exaggerate it) reader of the Financial Times Column Agony Uncle by David Tang.

Agreeing with others is not one of my many strengths, but I do agree with David on his comment in this weekend’s column (edition of 31-Jan/1-Feb). To quote from his reply to a reader suggesting that he belongs to the older generation and behind times: “We know we are behind the times, but we have had our times and the modern era is for the present generation to enjoy.” It echoes my old blog “Had the moment and move on”.

Here are the explanations for yesterday’s British expressions:
1) Bob’s your uncle = There you go/Sorted
2) All mouth and no trousers = All talks and no actions
3) Send someone to Coventry = Ignore or refuse to work with someone
4) Football’s a game of two halves = It is possible for someone’s fortunes or luck to change and the person who’s winning could end up a loser
5) An Englishman’s home is his castle = This means that what happens in a person’s home or private life is their business and should not be subject to outside interference.

On the last business day of Jan-2015, I finished the first round of a new year resolution that I had started with a colleague. We, two non-British people, have decided to learn more British expressions everyday at work.
Some of the interesting ones so far are:
1) Bob’s your uncle
2) All mouth and no trousers
3) Send someone to Coventry
4) Football’s a game of two halves
5) An Englishman’s home is his castle

No need to google. For those who can wait, the answers will be revealed tomorrow.