As part of our human nature, it is very common and easy to become bitter when things go wrong or not go as we expected.
How can we turn it around?
1) Identify the source of the bitterness. Sometimes the bitterness is so overwhelming that we don’t even know where it is rooted from. Reflect and think deep.
2) Calm yourself. Take a moment and step away from it. Take a breather and leave the “crime scene” if you can.
3) Sort out if there are remedies or not (short-term, medium-term or long-term).
4) If the situation cannot be resolved, let it go and move on.
5) Think broadly and freely of any lesson(s) you can learn from this experience. New insights? Preventive measures in the future?
6) Stay focused on the positive things of life and don’t let the bitterness “consume” you. It is not the end of the world.

Today I went to a venue to book for an area for an after-work drink for approximately 15 people next Tuesday. After taking down the information, the hostess asked since it is a quiz night with a 50-pound cash prize tonight, would I like to SWITCH the reservation from next Tuesday to tonight?  I held back my tongue and mockery and firmly said “No, thank you”. Do I really want to ask 15 people to change the agreed date for a quiz night with such an extravagant prize?

To test my common-sense and patience further, she then told me that the reservation was done for the basement which was the default. I forced myself not to roll my eyes and told her calmly that I prefer the bar at the street level with glass windows. Is she serious that customers prefer the “dungeon” with no windows nor trace of civilization than the bar at the street level?

Not sure if it was a case of ignorance or a trap. It was certainly a test of my mockery and patience!

I have been a fan of 2 programs of the BBC Radio 2, the Chris Evans Breakfast Show with Moira Stuart during weekday morning and Paul O’Grady Show on Sunday afternoon.

The Breaksfast Show has children as young as 6 calling in to share what they have done for the first time in their lives (such as performing and/or going to a museum). I love that. It is a great way to start the morning.

The Paul O’Grady Show is hilarious. Paul is a riot. I thought he was Irish until my friend Gary told me that it is actually a Liverpool accent not an Irish one. Never mind, Paul always cracks me up with his outrageous comments.

Anyway, I am going to send each of them a copy of my book to see if the favorite radio DJs like my book.

I am a big fan of physiotherapy because it is based on sound medical knowledge of muscles and discipline of the patient (for doing the exercises).

My parents are fans as well in particular my dad who benefited from it in the past few years. They are both very keen learners to know more.  As soon as they knew that I started physiotherapy, they began to pick my brain every weekend on what I learned to see if it was new to them. After 3 months of weekly drilling, I finally managed to impress them with one new way of doing a physio-exercise yesterday. I admire their excellent attitude of learning new things irrespective of their ages.

I have been going to physiotherapy for 3 months (Yes, I am getting better now. Thank you for asking). My physiotherapist and I have established and agreed that there are 2 types of pain. One type is a sharp pain that is hurting you badly (in which case you scream). The other type is working/stretching your muscles that somehow (not sure how) it is loosening up your muscles and it is good for you. As a non-medical professional, I am not sure how to explain it technically. But one key difference to me personally is the working pain is the one that trains your muscles within your tolerance (before screaming) and will eventually heal you.

No pain no gain!

An old friend of mine in New York face-booked me last week and told me that he felt like he was “floating” in life. He asked me what I would suggest him to do.
It is a broad topic and I am not claiming to be an expert to deal with mid-life crisis and the like. However, here are my two cents and initial thoughts:
1) Find out what triggered the “floating” and when it first started.
2) Determine if you want to anchor yourself or float a bit more
3) If you want to anchor yourself, reflect on your anchor points in life such as religion, family, friends, work, interests,..
4) If you want to “float” a bit more to figure out what you want from life, you should search for your motivation and interests in life. Think of what gets you excited in life. What would you do if you had total freedom and unlimited resources? I would also explore different areas of interests and/or brainstorm with friends.

Today I had dinner with my honorable executive assistant/friend Gary to celebrate his new job. Yes, congratulations and well done!!!
In passing, he said he prefers the moderated and calmer version of me. Well, I took it as a compliment because at least he noticed that there is a toned-down version of me that I can adjust to if needed. Funny enough, last week a colleague told me that he was very surprised that I did not create a big scene when he did not make good his promise and I let him go.

In case people have not noticed, actually I am developing my ability to moderate my eccentricity so I can be more effective in “wearing different hats”.

On the back of yesterday’s blog, let us take a look at what Deep Listening is. Based on the book The Coaching Manual written by Julie Starr (p80-81), Deep Listening is the ability to listen to and understand another person from insights into what they have said, or even understand what they have NOT said.
The characteristics are:
1) The mind of the listener is mostly quiet and calm.
2) The awareness of the listener is entirely focused on the other person.
3) The listener has little or no sense or awareness of themselves
4) The listener is totally lucid and present to the person speaking
5) This state can easily be broken or disturbed, e.g. by the speaker asking the listener a question, or seeking acknowledgement of some sort.

I have to admit that listening is not one of my strengths. Well, awareness is a good start. I would like to share certain characteristics of Active Listening based on the book The Coaching Manual written by Julie Starr which I found useful (p78-79)
1) The listener is using more effort to listen and process information than speaking themselves.
2) The listener has the intention of staying focused on what the other party is saying, in order to understand fully what they are saying.
3) The listener is mentally registering and recording facts so they can potentially use them later.
4) The listener continually confirms that they are still listening, by making appropriate sounds, gestures or expressions.
5) The listener will actively seek to understand what the person is telling them, by using clarifying questions, repeating or summarizing information back to the speaker and offering observations or conclusions.

Tomorrow we will define what DEEP listening is.

I got my Valentine’s “gift pack” today which contains 50 copies of my book that I had ordered over the weekend (a gift from myself to myself :>). It only took lulu.com one business day to print. I am impressed by the efficiency.

I guess I will have to put on the “salesman hat” again to restart my book promotion. No longer out-of-stock.