Two good insights from the chapter “Enjoying Solitude and Other People” from the book Flow by Mihaly Csikszentmihaly.
1) We as human beings are made to live in community and have relationships with others such as family, friends and marriage. Our lives can be enriched through these relationships.
2) We also need to know how to handle and benefit from solitude. “Learning to use time alone, instead of escaping from it, is especially important in our early years. Teenagers who can’t bear solitude disqualify themselves from later carrying out adult tasks that require serious mental preparation” (p.171)
Very British Expressions (Part 2b)
Here are the answers:
1) “Lose your bottle” – If someone loses their bottle, they lose the courage to do something.
2) “Sound as a pound” – If something is as sound as a pound, it is very good or reliable.
3) “Talking the hind legs off a donkey” – Talk too much
4) “Throw a cat among the pigeons” – This metaphor paints a pretty clear picture; it means to say or do something that will cause a chaotic disturbance among a group.
5) “Back to Blighty” – Back to Britain
6) “As snug as a bug (in a rug)” – Very cosy
7) “Cat’s pyjamas” – A highly sought-after and fancy example of something, usually referring to inanimate objects.
8) “Donkey’s years” – Long time
Very British Expressions (Part 2a)
Flow — Part 9 (Work as flow)
Instead of quoting from the book Flow, I have decided to use a different source on the topic of work.
“[Work] should be looked upon, not as a necessary drudgery to be undergone for the purpose of making money, but as a way of life in which the nature of man should find its proper exercise and delight and so fulfil itself to the glory of God. That it should, in fact, be thought of as a creative activity undertaken for the love of the work itself; and that man, made in God’s image, should make things, as God makes them, for the sake of doing well that is well worth doing.” — Dorothy Sayers, Creed or Chaos p.89
Flow — Part 8 (Flow of Mind)
The best description is based on Plato’s quote in Philebus: “The young man who has drunk for the first time from that spring is as happy as if he had found a treasure of wisdom; he is positively enraptured. He will pick up any discourse, draw all its ideas together to make them into one, then take them apart and pull them to pieces, He will puzzle first himself, then also others, badger whoever comes hear him, young and old, sparing not even his parents, nor anyone who is willing to listen…”
Half-Year Report
Today marks the beginning of the second half of my 12-month period since my book publication in Sep-14.
I thought it may be a good time to take stock.
a) Copies of book sold = 257 (12-month target of 1,000 with 6 more months to go. It is going to be a tough one.)
b) Countries where copies sold = 6 (U.K., U.S., Canada, France, Germany & China)
c) Amazon reviews received (US & UK sites) = 12
d) Blogs published = 162 (including this very one)
e) Twitter followers = 1,313 with 1,986 tweets (including retweets)
The second half will be accompanied by the arrival of spring and summer.
Cheer up and keep it up!
Birthday Party
Today I went to a friend’s 30’s birthday lunch party. Not to “steal her thunder” (which I admit I do have a tendency of doing that to other people :>), I kept the promotion of my book to the very bare minimum. I only gave an “elevator” pitch of my book to everyone at the lunch table when her boyfriend publicly praised my book. To top it off, another friend who happened to sit next to me at the lunch table told me with a straight face that she found my book useful. She is someone that only offers compliments when she really means it. For that, I was more than pleased.
The sale of my book is important, but honest feedback and affirmation mean the world to me.
Flow — Part 7 (Body in Flow)
On the subject of how our body experiences flow, Mihaly Csikszentmihaly suggested (p.97, Flow):
“Even the simplest physical act becomes enjoyable when it is transformed so as to produce flow. The essentials steps in this process are:
(a) to set an overall goal, and as many subgoals as are realistically feasible;
(b) to find ways to measuring progress in terms of goals chosen;
(c) to keep concentrating on what one is doing, and to keep making finer and finer distinctions in the challenges involved in the activity;
(d) to develop the skills necessary to interact with the opportunities available;
(e) to keep raising the stakes if the activity becomes boring.”
Flow — Part 6 (Family Situation)
To paraphrase the optimal family situations for more “flow-inclined” children (p.89 & 93, Flow by Mihaly Csikszentmihaly), it is a family that facilitates and encourages the following elements.
1) Clarity of goals
2) Providing feedback
3) Feeling of control
4) Concentration and focus
5) Intrinsic motivation
6) Challenges
However, to conclude, Milhay added “Some people are born with a more focused and flexible neurological endowment, or are fortunate to have had parents who promoted unselfconscious individuality. But it is an ability open to cultivation, a skill one can perfect through training and discipline.” In short, having good upbringing is helpful but one can also make up for it later in life.
All Accents are Welcome!
I went to a café last week with my French colleague and the staff asked him if he is French and added he could tell by his accent. My colleague was furious and thought the staff was rude picking on his accent.
I told him not to get upset for 2 reasons:
First, I had a different theory. I think pointing out the accent may be a way for people to start a conversation (though it may not be a very sensitive way as some people are upset about it). When I travel to another country, some shopkeepers usually start saying “hello” to be either in Japanese or Mandarin (neither of them is my mother tongue which is Cantonese) even before I open my mouth. I doubt if they wanted to offend me because they did want me to make a purchase. Therefore, I think some people do try to make a connection by saying “Hello” in what they thought was your native language or asking where you are from.
Second, everyone speaks with an accent. For example, in the U.S., there are Texas, New York, Bronx, Brooklyn and California accents while in the U.K. there are Liverpool, Oxbridge, Essex and Cockney accents to name a few. I agree that communication needs to clear but there should not be a social hierarchy related to one’s accent. One should not feel inferior because he/she speaks with a foreign accent and the native speakers should not feel superior because of their mother tongue.
My humble advice:
For speakers:
1) Speak slowly and clearly.
2) Articulate more.
3) Don’t lose confidence which will worsen your speech.
4) It takes two parties to establish a successful communication. Don’t assume it is your fault that the listener did not understand you.
For listeners:
1) Have patience and make an effort to understand.
2) Don’t switch off automatically because the speaker has an accent different from yours.
3) Clarify and confirm your understanding.
4) Appreciate the speaker making an effort to speak your native language. Imagine the reverse.