I attended a coaching seminar last week. At the end of the seminar, there was a peer supervisory session that all the coaches presented their personal experience in small groups of three participants each.
One interesting ground rule was that we were reminded to share ideas, but not opinions. It means don’t make judgement on if other participants are right or wrong. In addition, each person was only allowed to share his/her own real life experience, but not “what if” or “what would have” scenarios. The purpose was to avoid idea sharing turning into discussion and/or debate.

I have read a good article from the Coach Magazine (UK) which is an interview of Dr. Dave Alred MBE, a rugby kicking coach turned pressure specialist who Johnny Wilkinson calls “The best in the world”, on keeping a cool head.
First question to Dr. Dave Alred: Where does pressure come from?
“Fear of not achieving the outcome you want, and that fear can distract you from the process of improving. The first stage of anyone’s improvement is improving on themselves. With competition we tend to neglect that and try and benchmark against others, but it’s always about getting better – if you kicked eight goals last time and 10 this time, it does not matter who kicked 15.
This echoes with my own experience that I described in my book (Section: Kiss the negative goodbye; p.24-26) that competition is good for personal development to an extent up to the point before turning into negative energy.

I have come across an interesting definition of loving from the book “Out of the Head and into the Heart” by Franz X. Buhler. Loving means: “Direct your whole energy towards the thing you really desire from the bottom of your heart. Be moved, even excited about it with every fibre, every molecule, every atom of your body. Swing, vibrate and shake with excitement when you think of your idea! Become the idea yourself – be your idea!” (p.25). It strikes a chord.

Last weekend I was in Lyon, France. A friend of mine originally from Lyon recommended a shopping center called Les Halles de Lyon known for their food stalls and restaurants. I went there and “followed my nose” to one of restaurants with an open kitchen. I read their menu which included chicken “la poule” and saw plates of chicken wings which smelled very good to me. I immediately ordered the chicken wings and ate them happily. I was super proud of my very good self that I took a picture of my plate of chicken wings.
This morning I showed off the photo of chicken wings to another friend from Lyon. He asked me if I liked the FROG LEGS. Then it dawned on me that the chicken wings I ate were frog legs which the locals called chicken. That would explain why it cost 17 Euros for a small plate of “chicken wings”. I should have known as the Chinese called frogs “field chickens”. I did not mean to eat frog legs as I love frogs, but well, I will be more careful next time. I can’t undo an honest mistake and they did taste good (and like chicken). Let us not dwell on it.

I read a short article from Balance magazine (April 2016) featuring the advice from Sir Richard Branson. His advice on the topic of finding your balance is as follows:
1) Pay attention to detail
“It sounds like something your mum would tell you but attention to detail is really important and too many companies forget that”.
2) Don’t let age hold you back
“If you have to make a fool of yourself, make a fool of yourself, but make sure you end up on the front pages!”
3) Learn to delegate
“Finding people who are better than you to do the things that you’re not good at, frees you up to do that things you are good at.”
4) Love what you do..
“.. and have a lot of un doing it”
5) Never give up
“Anybody can make themselves a success – you just need the idea. And perseverance”.

Yes, spring has finally arrived in London!
I can see more green on plants and trees.
I can hear the birds sing louder.
I can appreciate the daylight lingers on a bit longer.
I can sense the warm breeze coming my way.
I can feel that hope and vitality in the air :>

As a final note on this series of blogs on “Mature vs. Young Talents”, one point I would like to suggest is the concept of “being in for the long haul”.
Not sure if it applies to other people. I recalled when I was young, I used to put a disproportionally large weight on the immediate results of certain events. For example, I thought the result of a single exam would determine the future of my life. However, in retrospect, it did not. I am not suggesting that we take things lightly (we should always do our best), but sometimes it is equally important to put things into a longer-term perspective. It is NOT the end of the world if things don’t happen what we expected and we should not feel and/or behave that way. I believe as we become more mature, our experience (hopefully) will remind us of the truth instead of getting stressed out. Remember we are “in this (our lives) for the long haul”.

A good friend shared this lovely message with me and I would like to pass it on.

“A man died…
When he realized it, he saw God coming closer with a suitcase in his hand.
Dialog between God and Dead Man:
God: Alright son, it’s time to go
Man: So soon? I had a lot of plans…
God: I am sorry but, it’s time to go
Man: What do you have in that suitcase?
God: Your belongings
Man: My belongings? You mean my things… Clothes… money…
God: Those things were never yours, they belong to the Earth
Man: Is it my memories?
God: No. They belong to Time
Man: Is it my talent?
God: No. They belong to Circumstance
Man: Is it my friends and family?
God: No son. They belong to the Path you travelled
Man: Is it my wife and children?
God: No. they belong to your Heart
Man: Then it must be my body
God: No No… It belongs to Dust
Man: Then surely it must be my Soul!
God: You are sadly mistaken son. Your Soul belongs to me.
Man with tears in his eyes and full of fear took the suitcase from the God’s hand and opened it…

Empty…

With heartbroken and tears down his cheek he asks God…
Man: I never owned anything?
God: That’s Right. You never owned anything.

Man: Then? What was mine?
God: your MOMENTS.
Every moment you lived was yours.

Do Good in every moment
Think Good in every moment
Thank God for every moment

Life is just a Moment.

Live it…
Love it…
Enjoy it..”

Related to a wider network discussed in my previous blog, having a stronger support system can be an advantage to the more mature people. Like most journeys, there are ups and downs in our careers. As we grow older, we find true friends and family along the way to support each other. In addition, the benefits of a support system will become more evident as we go through life. After all, no one is an island.

A greater capacity to network may be another advantage of more mature people over the younger generation. Everything being equal, the same person logically and naturally should know more people in his/her life as time goes by and that in itself is a growing base for networking. In addition, as one becomes more mature and has more experience in life, one should have a better understanding of the social etiquette (one would hope) which is important in networking and building friendship.