I attended a workshop on the topic of adapting to changes last week. I would like to share 2 models that I learned from there. The first one is called The Mastery Model developed by Bennett and Bush.
There are 5 stages in the process of change adaptation.
Stage 1 [Awareness] – Understands that a change is likely. Has insight about self in relationship to the change.
Stage 2 [Acceptance] – Engages in the new role or change. Commits to shifting mindsets and behaviors because of the change.
Stage 3 [Adoption] – Actively engages in the new change mindsets, behaviors. Acquires or develops the capabilities to perform in the change.
Stage 4 [Integration] – Blends the mindsets behaviors and capabilities in order to make the new performance “neutral”. Links changes into existing processes, policies for sustainment.
Stage 5 [Mastery]: Continues to develop the capacity to make additional changes; reflective competence. Applies the development in new and different contexts (i.e. future changes).

I think it is helpful to monitor yourself and identify your current stage among the 5 stages. In addition, many people forget about the final stage of Mastery. It is important to reflect and use it as a lesson for future changes (inevitable) after all is set and down.

I am going to attend a life coaching seminar next Wednesday on how to adapt to changes in life.
Before that, I would like to make some personal notes on the subject and then “compare notes” after the event. Sound good?
1) Acknowledgement: The first step to adapting to changes is to acknowledge that changes will come your way and it may or may not be what you expected.
2) Understanding: Try to understand what changes are coming and the causes. Be careful not to over-analyze it nor stress yourself out. Sometimes the answers may not be there.
3) Ask the control questions: These questions related to control may be helpful. a) What are all the factors affecting the changes? b) What are the ones you can control? c) What are the ones you can’t control? d) What are the ones that you are trying to control? e) What actions/ changes do you need to take on the subject of control?
4) What kind of attitude/mentality would you like to have in the process of changes?
5) What are the milestones/sign posts for self-reflection?
6) Keep a journal of the changes and how you feel.
7) Think of plan B without overdoing it nor getting distracted.
8) Find/Form a support group.
9) Treat it as a valuable experience. It will be helpful later on in life as changes are inevitable.

First of all, instead of calling it “beating the Monday blues”, I would call it “dancing with the Monday blues” (will be explained later).
As today is Monday, this very thought of Monday blues came to my mind and I would make the following suggestions:
1) Acknowledge its existence if it affects you at all; otherwise this blog does not apply to you.
2) Go to bed earlier on Sunday night in anticipation of a new week.
3) Arrange something to cheer yourself up. For example, you may want to have dinner with friends in the Monday evening. Give yourself a treat.
4) Not to overwhelm yourself with a lot of tasks (meetings) to tire you out on the first working day of the week (for most people).
5) Reframe Monday blues to mitigate its negative association. You may call it Monday special instead of Monday blues (to be more neutral). It is quite personal and the idea is to make it more neutral instead of negative. By calling it “dancing with the Monday blues” instead of “beating the Monday blues” is another example. Dancing is more positive than beating as we don’t need to frame it as a battle.
6) Look at it with a more positive light. It is the fresh beginning of a week and there is hope of a new start. It will lead to another weekend.

On that note, happy Monday to all :>

Last Friday I had dinner with an ex-client who finished a year life coaching work with me. She said she had made very good progress on something we had discussed before and she gave me a few examples to support that. I congratulated her on her progress. Then she added that one recent incident made her realize that she still had room for improvement. I told her that the word “progress” in itself means it is a continuous process and as long as she is moving in the right direction, that means she is progressing. In addition, I encouraged her to celebrate her achievements (big and small) along the way to give herself acknowledgement as well as confidence.

I am not knowledgeable nor keen on politics in general, not to mention French politics. However, the emotional intelligence of the front-running presidential candidate Emmanuel Macron caught my attention.
It was reported that (I did not watch the debate) he managed to stay very focused and calm at the crucial presidential multiple-way public debate a few weeks ago running into the first round of election though he had the least media training among the participants. More recently (actually last Wednesday), the other candidate Le Pen was trying to ambush him at his visit to a closing appliance factory. Again he kept a cool head and shook hand with all the workers there instead of having a head-on collision with the opposition.
I would be most proud if I were his life coach :> The way to go Macron!

A friend of mine has asked me for advice on how to network in a big group with mostly strangers. My suggestions are:
B = Be yourself and genuine.
L = Listen to others besides talking about yourself.
O = Open-minded. Avoid pre-judging others.
W = Warm and welcoming. Be kind and warm to others.

In addition, I wrote a blog on a similar subject a few months ago titled P.E.N.
P = Positivity. Always start and stay positive towards others.
E = Equality. Think of others as equal to you, no more and no less.
N = Neutrality.

On the subject of how a more experienced person can adopt and excel in a new work environment, a friend mentioned a film called Intern. It is based on the story of a retired 70-year widower played by Robert Di Niro who started a 6-week internship at an online fashion company. I watched the film over the weekend and found some key ingredients for a mature person to succeed in a workplace of a younger crowd.
1) Be humble and open-minded: Despite the vast experience one may have, be humble and open-minded. It is a brand new world out there.
2) Be kind and helpful to others: Help others (younger and older colleagues alike) as much as you can. You are there to work. Make your contributions, big or small.
3) Be observant but offer advice when appropriate: With more experience “under your belt”, you are probably trained to be more observant and opinionated (somewhat). You may be the first one to see how things may evolve and form an opinion. However, there is a time for everything. Do allow others to speak first and use your own discretion when to offer your advice (better solicited than unsolicited).

In the age of efficiency and austerity, the idea of doing-more-with-less is more relevant than ever.
I have taken a different perspective on it. My thoughts are:
1) Less set in your own way = More opportunities for new experiences and greater flexibility
2) Less complaining = More time to come up with constructive solutions and suggestions
3) Less mind-wandering = More focused which may lead to better results
4) Less anger or negative feelings = More control over your own emotions and more happiness in life
5) Less argumentative = More peace of mind and stronger relationships

Yes, doing more with less is possible :>

Recently, I have been reflecting on the subject of equality which has many different facets besides the obvious few.
First of all, equality means the same, no more and no less.
In other words, treating another person with equality means you don’t feel superior nor inferior to that person. Feeling inferior is also a form of inequality (to your very good self in this case).
I am a strong believer of equality (and still learning each day). In a very broad but deep and yet subtle way, equality means the same respectful treatment on:
a) Being single or in a relationship/married
b) With or without children
c) High IQ or low IQ
d) Good-looking or less attractive
e) Tall or short
f) Big or small
g) Wealthy or poor
h) Old or young
i) Gay or Straight
j) Highly educated or illiterate
k) Whatever race
l) Man or woman
The list continues…

May I suggest: Whoever you encounter every day, look the person in the eyes and tell him/her you are equal (not superior nor inferior).

I promised this is my last note on the movie La La Land.
This time my note is on the leading lady in the movie Emma Stone. To be honest, I was not a fan of her based on a couple of movies she did in the past including Spiderman and Birdman.
She was adequate in those 2 movies but nothing more than a pretty face (and there are many in the land of Hollywood).
I was not expecting much from her in the movie La La Land as her role is not very demanding (playing a struggling actress in LA!).
However, I believe (my guess) she did not take that role lightly and did put her 110% into it with her utmost dedication even in such a “common” role.
And the result: She shines like a bright star in that movie and won the Oscar!
A lesson for all of us is to always do your best in whatever you do and you may shine at the moment least expected.